One year later.

March 29th, 2015 forever changed my life. That morning, I felt what I can only describe as part of my life being violently ripped from my heart, my body, my soul. If you have ever lost someone who had such a major impact on your life & was one of the most important people in your life you will understand the feeling. I walked around from March 29th, until around Christmas in a half alive daze, as if the world had stopped spinning, and I was navigating on my own. I was plunged into a life that was severe highs and severe lows. Kolton was born less than 2 months after my mom passed away. Which means EVERY first holiday with Kolton was also a first without my mom. How does one navigate that? I have no answer for that.

Something about making it through Christmas was like an accomplishment. I have made it this far. I can keep going. I can keep fighting my way out of this fog. The world starts to spin again, and I can talk about her without tears coming straight to my eyes and my throat closing up. The sucky part about that, is it feels like a betrayal. I am betraying my mom somehow. Although I know she would want me to keep moving on, go on without her, I can't help that feeling, that I am betraying her.

I look at Kolton and there are "faces" he makes that remind me so much of her, my mom. To this day, I still wish that God would have granted her a few more months, enough time to see her grandson, to hold him, to kiss him, to have those moments captured in photos, that I can show him one day. Instead I have tried to imagine her here, I know her well enough I can picture the faces she would make, her voice, what she would say to him, and be just as tickled by him as I am.

One year later, I am still in disbelief, that I made it this far without her.
& something tells me, I will feel that way for the rest of my life.
Until I see her again.

xoxo
Jamie

Easter 2016

Koltons very first Easter, not quite the way I imagined it, he slept nearly all day! Next year hopefully he will stay awake and have fun with everyone. Anyway, this year, we had just moved into the RV so we decided to have Easter here, mine and my dads rv's are side by side, so we had a pretty large area we could utilize. As usual, my brother & SIL were late, so we dyed Easter eggs first thing Easter morning. I found some awesome dye kits from Target circus animals and princesses! The girls loved it and had a blast decorating their eggs. This year I also did not go overboard, we only had about 30ish eggs and it was a perfect amount for the 4 of them. I did not do that great of a job at photographing Easter this year. I am finding it a challenge to be, host, mom, AND photographer! I am sure I will get the hang of it soon, I hope!

xoxo
Jamie

Kolton's Nursery

 I figured, I should get around to photographing and posting Kolton's nursery.  I never thought when I was planning on having a baby, that he would only get to have his nursery for 6 short months. I worked hard on the planning of his nursery and was so excited when finally in October I was able to set it all up, put it all together. I have loved his little room, and now it is time to say good bye to this room. I will be working on a much smaller, slightly more modern version of his nursery for the RV. But for the rest of his infancy and even toddler years, his room will not look like this again. We are keeping his furniture and decor for when we do finally move back into a home & hopefully he likes the woodland animals theme! 

                                                  Anyway, here is his super cute nursery:

I am listing these items in approximately the order they are seen as you scroll down through the pictures :)

Crib & dresser: Babies R Us
Dreamcatcher Mobile: Earthbound Trading
Mossy Name Plaque: made by me
Quilt & crib skirt: Land of Nod
Crib sheet: Zulilly
Hanging shelves: Target
White moose head: Hobby Lobby
Miniature Animals: Tractor Supply
Blue truck: made my his grandma
Teepee: made by me
Fox pillow: Homegoods
Green shag rug: At Home
Knit Deer: Cuddle & Kind
Large 3' Deer: Nordstrom
Wolf: Won at fair
tiny standing fox: Hobby Lobby
Superman:
Knit Ball: Land Of Nod
Wooden crate: bought at a small boutique in Big Spring TX years ago
Campfire: Personality INC
(in crib) bears with my moms pic on them - MaKaylas Treasures
(one was a trial and error for the company, I just couldn't bear to throw it away after it got messed up)
Tiny fox: Ikea
Fox Lovie: Babies R Us
Height chart: Land of Nod
Tree bookcase: Babies R us (babyletto brand)
Mushroom stool: Walmart (garden department)
curtains: Ikea
Swing: Nuna Leaf
Orange toy bin: Baby Depot
Bear rug: Bass Pro Shop
Scentsy thing: took from my moms house when she passed away
Branch colored pencils: TjMaxx
small hedgehog nightlight: Land of nod
Owl dreamcatcher: Earthbound Trading
teepee wall art: Hobby Lobby
Square wake up print: Hobby Lobby
fox round wall art: made by me
deer head: I can't remember
Laundry basket: Target
xoxo
Jamie

Our New Home

is a fifth wheel RV..
Again.


We gave this so much thought. Hubby and I fought it out. & I finally agreed that HE was right, & he had better revel in that for as long as he can, because it doesn't happen often. As everyone knows, we travel a lot for his work. Jobs end up being longer, or shorter, we get very little notice when we move, and sometimes the job only lasts a few weeks. Do you know how expensive it is to rent an apartment with a shorter lease, all the non-refundable deposits! & on top of that, staying in hotels for weeks at a time because you don't know how long you will be somewhere (which can easily hit $2k a month)

I finally agreed that this was our best, most logical solution to save money. So that we would one day be able to buy or build a home somewhere. (& no, I have no idea where that somewhere will be)

I was very clear from the beginning that I had a "must-have" list for our RV and I am happy to say, we found an RV that meets all the requirements!! We ended up purchasing a brand new 2016 Coachmen Chaparral 371mbrb!

This is probably the coolest RV I have ever seen, it has THREE bedrooms and one and a half baths!! The smallest of the 3 rooms we have turned into Kolton's nursery(this will be a post for another time since it is far from finished) and the other bunk room will eventually become a mini photography studio/office/bunk room.

At some point I will get around to taking indoor photos
(probably as I re-decorate each room to fit my taste)
I have big plans.. always do :)

xoxo
Jamie